Dana's Journal
by Woodsea8885
Summary: The police had found Mulder's abandoned car by the river, its interior covered in blood—Mulder's blood.


THE X-FILES

"Dana's Journal"

Mulder was gone and every moment that went by was pure agony for me.

Last week, they had found his abandoned car by the river, its interior covered in blood—Mulder's blood. The letter arrived two days after his disappearance, sent by a rouge agent forced into early retirement due to health reasons. He had idolized Assistant Director Skinner, he explained, and wanted to do him one last favor before he died. His tribute was to get rid of the one agent who had daily endangered Skinner's health and career. Everyone in the department had expected it to happen one day, Mulder vanishing, but not this way.

They searched for him for three months, but when nothing turned up, they were forced to declare him missing and presumed dead. On that day, they called me into Skinner's office. I knew what he was going to tell me, but my heart went cold just the same.

"I'm so sorry, Scully," Skinner quietly empathized. "I know how close you and Mulder were. You trusted each other with your lives. If there's anything I can do, please say so. I'd like to help if I can."

"Thank you," was all I could say. Getting up, I went back to our office in the basement. How I got there I'll never know; all my senses had gone numb.

It was at that moment that I realized I had loved him. Not like a brother as I always pretended, but as a woman in love with a man. I knew I had had feelings for him, but I had blinded myself to the fact that those feelings had gone so deep. Was it my ambition, my career, or just plain fear that had kept me from acknowledging them? None of it mattered now for Fox was gone and not likely to come back. Nevertheless, I swore to myself that if ever he did return alive, I would tell him how I felt and protocol be damned. Of course, he didn't reappear so each day I grew lonelier.

The X-Files continued, but not for long. As hard as I tried to emulate Mulder's thinking, I could never get past my hard-core scientific beliefs, thus its success ratio dropped. So much so that the X-Files were declared no longer an asset, and the cases were assigned piecemeal to the other departments. I, myself, was transferred to the Forensics Medical Unit.

I was able to perform my job with as much objectivity and proficiency as before, but it no longer excited me as it once had. After having Fox Mulder for a partner, nobody could match the unusual yet insightful intelligence he had possessed, nor his erratic, energy level. I had begun to wonder about leaving the Bureau when I got the phone call.

Skinner had me meet him in the lobby. He was agitated and in a hurry, yet wouldn't tell me why. We rushed to the airport where all he did was flash his I.D. badge and we were through. Obviously, we'd been cleared ahead of time. He led me to a gate where people were already exiting from the plane's breezeway. "I thought you'd want to be here," was all he would say.

Then I saw him. He was thinner, almost emaciated, grayer, his face drawn, and hazel-eyes bleak. A two-inch long scar over his right eye told clearly of the horror Fox had been through. His hair and beard sported eleven months growth, and I doubted I would have recognized him I had passed him on the street. But he wasn't on the street, he was here in front of me.

My heart leapt when I saw him. All I could think about was getting to him. I had lost Fox more than once already, but if I had to lose him again I wanted him to at least know how I felt, and I didn't care who knew it.

Running forward, pushing past people, I felt panic, like any second he would be gone again, this time for good. But he took me in his arms holding me just a tight as I held him. I kissed him hard, passionately, and with the fervor a woman had for a long, lost lover.

"I love you," I whispered, too afraid it was a horrible dream.

When Mulder kissed me back, I knew it wasn't.

"Good," he said in between kisses and tears, "then I'll know what to expect when I ask you to marry me."

We were married the next day in Maryland with the Lone Gunman gang, my mother, and A.D. Skinner as witnesses.

From the Bureau's point of view, Skinner wasn't happy about the union, but on a personal level, he admitted he had guessed it would happen someday. "You two were meant to be together," he said as he congratulated us.

And we would be - till death us do part.


End file.
